Growing Pains

Henry spent his first night in a "big boy bed" last night. At his own request. Or, rather, insistence. This took us a little by surprise, though he has taken naps on the bed before (back when he still took naps). I like to consider myself a parent who is open to letting children stretch and grow on their own, taking cues from their behavior to know when to make an adjustment, or change a habit. Can some changes be this easy? Though I also realize that a two-year-old continues to push limits and, as a parent, it's my job to let him know where that boundary lies. In truth, I'm exhausted from "picking my battles" or for a more peaceful version, "constantly renegotiating some sort of unwritten treaty."  (As a side note, I overheard a conversation a while ago between two moms with older kids. Both commented that a two-year-old really forces you to know Who You Are. And if you don't, they'll call you out on it in a heartbeat).

All of this has my mind reeling a little. I mean, I know that one day, we'll have a person on our hands who will be quite independent. He will get up in the morning, get dressed, and fix some breakfast with very little oversight on my part.  My confusion lies in the path that leads Point A (where we are now) to Point B (that independent person in the future). There seem to be so many little steps in the journey of raising kids.  How will I know when he's ready or what comes next? Is there a sequence? Although there are a few things I am happy to see change, especially before the new baby arrives, there are other habits I really hadn't planned on changing much in the coming months. Apparently Henry has different plans.

Let me try to sum up:
Our preferred changes (yes, I'm going to speak for George on these points as well)

• Bye-bye binky. We phased this out rather smoothly, I think. For a long time, we emphasized that the bink was only for nap time and sleeping. On occasion, I used this on a long car ride here and there to allow mommy a little peace and quiet from the constant chatter about big rigs, cars, trucks, buses, and any other vehicle traveling the interstate! With the absence of a nap, there came the absence of a binky opportunity, and recently, we just haven't given it to him at night, either.  Most are now out of sight, out of mind.

• Hello underwear. Potty training has been going quite well, extremely time consuming in the beginning, but we're getting results. Once Henry finally got the point that the potty was for pee (and poop -- we're still working on this concept) and not just naked time, he's been more consistent in doing the task at hand and returning to his play. He has actually spent two days in dry underwear all day. Of course, he still requires a lot of reminders, but on occasion he'll tell me that he has to go.  I think we still have a ways before we're "there" but we've made good headway!

 Henry's changes:

• No more nap time. This has been a harder adjustment for me than Henry, it seems. Not only do I not have any "alone time" for Mommy, but between 4 and 5 o'clock, Henry gets very crabby as well. Which is the time of day I need to be focusing on dinner plans to bring the day to a happy close. So, if Henry continues to cut out naps, I'm initiating the "quiet hour." The time of day when Henry plays quietly in his room. So far, it hasn't been too peaceful. Henry spent the first half just yelling "MAMA!" at the top of his lungs. And the funny thing is that he gets to read books, or play quietly with cars on his "big boy bed" (the full size bed in his room) and I could hear him shouting at me that he wanted to get down. Be sure, he can do that on his own. I thought it was rather funny he spent the whole time on his bed and never did climb down, even though I wasn't there to give him permission. Today was a little different. He actually did get down and play quietly in his room. I took a much needed cat nap on the futon.

• The big boy bed. We like the crib. He doesn't climb out. We know he's safe. We know he won't be mobile. So this weekend, I guess we'll do a little rearranging to make sure his full bed isn't near the window. So that his new sleeping arrangement is as safe as possible, too.

• The Open Door Policy. Henry has learned how to open doors. We haven't been completely forthcoming in helping him learn this new skill. It's nice to know he won't just open up the door and be out in the garage, or out of the house, or in the bathroom when it's occupied. We like knowing he's slightly confined to the "safe zones" in the house. 

So we're working out the details for the two-year-old treaty.  There's been some crying and carrying on. From both parties. (Hey, I'm a grumpy pregnant momma, what did you expect?)