The Homestretch

When I began this post, it was from a place of fatigue, being overwhelmed, and frustrated with a non-napping and whining toddler. I'm glad I let it age for a couple of days. 

The title of this post has me in slight disbelief. Already? It is the homestretch, but I feel more like tossing in the towel, rather than sprinting toward the finish line. I'm 38 weeks. It could be any day now. But, I don't really allow myself to believe that. I need to be prepared to greet week 42, if that's what it takes.

I'm grump-tastic.  I have been all week.

In general, related to the pregnancy, I was feeling really good. When compared to my pregnancy with Henry, it has become apparent that my job (as an ICU nurse) really took a toll on my body. Carpal tunnel, back pain, swollen feet. This time, physically, mentally, emotionally, things were ok. Until I hit the wall. And maybe this week's cold (a cold, again!?!) put me over the edge. I'm large. I'm tired. And this time I know what's around the corner. Sleepless nights, early mornings, possible fussy evenings, and a high-energy toddler to boot.

Are you ready? This question seems frequent these days. Not just from others, occasionally my own mind turns to tasks to "be ready." However long the "to do" list, I'm still not sure I'd be able to answer this question in the affirmative. It's not so much taking care of a newborn. I feel slightly more confident and at ease in that role this time around. It's everything else that's got me down.

My vision of a stay-at-home-mom has not, in the past, included the following:
1. cold cereal for supper (more than once a week)
2. letting my child play outside in his underwear (in an urban setting)
3. sleeping on the futon while "supervising" my toddler (-ahem-, I can neither confirm nor deny this). ;o)
4. mine fields of toys on the floor (since when did the floor get so far away?)

Perhaps this means I am reconsidering my standards. New job description of a stay-at-home-mom to follow.